Translation:
Alright, we're going to dictate this week' blog entry into the Dragon dictation app on our iPad. I'm not sure what I'm.... I guess I should talk about Tori's power to throw her Binky several pews away from us during sacrament meeting. That was today: she decided that as much as she loved her binky and teething ring she would test whether they love her back by throwing them to the ground at just such an angle that they'd roll and go several pews away so Mommy and Daddy have to get up and make a scene to get them back for her, and then when we did she'd suck on the binky for a while and then throw it again. It was great fun...
Even I'm not sure exactly what I said into the dictation app. After my little experiment Jessica informed me that you have to talk directly into the microphone and stop every sentence or so and then it does better. That's probably how I would have done it, except Jess was making dinner (pot pie => fist pump!) so I was holding Tori, who grabs the shiny glowing toy with the music and pretty colors (translation: $600 iPad) whenever I let it within reach of her surprisingly quick little hands.
Despite our adventures during the first hour of church, during Sunday school (the second hour), she fell asleep on my shoulder (which would be cause for another fist-pump and possibly a victory dance except I was holding a tenuously slumbering child at the time). Then she slept for three hours, which was magical.
Some of you may be wondering about the title of today's post. If you haven't figured it out, it's a reference to both Dragon Dictation software and The Wheel of Time book series by Robert Jordan (and, to a lesser extent, Brandon Sanderson). I'm currently on book 11, Knife of Dreams, for the second time. I finished it the first time in 2006 before going to Brazil for two years as an LDS missionary.
Knife of Dreams was one of my favorite books of the series the first time around (I'd probably rank it a close second behind book 4: The Shadow Rising). My favorite part is that right from the start of the book you see the author finally following up on events that have been building for two or three books.
Spoiler Alert - skip the next paragraph if you don't want to find out what happens in book 11.
For example, Galad pwning Eamon Valda in the prologue, Mat's epic knife fight against 8 assassins, or Perrin finally getting his wife back. Elayne spending several chapters walking around the Caemlyn palace complaining about being pregnant while Birgitte and Aviendha do all the work.... Ok, maybe not so much that last one, but there's less of it than in book 10.
The point is, by the end of Knife of Dreams it's clear the final battle is coming at last. I left for Brazil in August of 2006 thinking that by the time I got back at the end of 2008 the last book would for sure be out and my only worry would be whether to start with that or Harry Potter book 7 first. Then I come home to find out that Robert Jordan. I can't remember if I cried, when I read about his widowed bride, but something touched me deep inside, the day the music died.
Fortunately, Brandon Sanderson, who I think is one of the best authors in the genre, was contracted to finish the series. Unfortunately, Brandon's books are every bit as long as Robert Jordan's, which means the final book in the series didn't come out until early this month (I went to the premiere and am now the proud owner of the 635th signed copy!).
One thing I wanted to take a moment and rant about is the Wheel of Time cover art. Jessica and I make fun of fantasy cover art all the time, and this series is a prime example of professional quality cover art that misses the mark. It's usually obvious that the person doing the cover art, while a gifted artist, probably never read the book, and doesn't understand how awesome it is. Case in point: the original cover art for Knife of Dreams looked like this:
The fact that the asha'man (the guy in the black coat on the left who apparently has a thing for fancy drapes) is supposed to have a very prominent mustache, is the least of the problems here. Why does Perrin (guy in white shirt with a beard) look like a cross between Gimli, Yosemite Sam, and a friendly puppy? He's supposed to look like this:
See the difference? The good example is from a series of fan-made covers released by Tor for the ebook releases of the books. While fan art is often pretty terrible / embarrassing / NSFW, they've chosen some pretty good ones. You can see the complete set at
http://www.dragonmount.com/Books/ebook_covers_tor.php.
When book 14, A Memory of Light, came out I was struggling a bit with the cover. The whole "let's just put Rand on the cover" thing had kind of been done before, but then Jessica pointed out that they did a good job on Callandor, and more importantly, he looks kind of like Captain Mal from Firefly. Now I'd be offended if they ever tried to change that picture.
It makes Rand seem less whiny if you imagine he's just upset that the browncoats lost the war and the show got cancelled.
Lastly, I can't rant about fantasy book covers without showing the infamous Rand-looks-like-David-Bowie cover art from book 5:
Which brings us to our closing image:
